Introducing: Democrat Dos and Donts
Good dog and bad dog. Goofus and gallant. Baller and scrub. These are some of the very deep dichotomies reality confronts us with daily, throughout our lives – but have you, dear reader, considered that they might apply to Milwaukee politics too?
Here at Milwaukee Beagle, we put up with Democrats because we have to. It’s a two party system and one party is a bunch of feral chuds eagerly licking the boots of a fascist near-corpse. And the Republicans are even worse!! We kid, we kid.
We think there’s utility in giving even the most morally bereft, psychotically moderate Dem power player a point when they occasionally do something right. And even our closest, most reliable allies should be held accountable when they fuck up. With that, we bring you Democrat Dos and Don'ts: a semi-regular feature highlighting the good dogs/gallants/ballers and the bad dogs/goofuses/scrubs in (mostly!) Milwaukee politics.
Democrats Do Oppose War and Genocide
At their state convention on June 8-10 Wisconsin Democrats passed a surprisingly strong resolution calling for an immediate, permanent ceasefire in Gaza and justly declaring that “the collective punishment of Palestinians is an egregious violation of humanitarian law.”
It’s no secret that the Democratic Party –especially at the top, with nominal party leader President Joseph Biden– is culpable in Israel’s ongoing genocide in Gaza.[1] Our doddering grandpa-in-chief can mumble about red lines and his magical humanitarian aid pier all day, but there’s little evidence that any of it has stopped Israel from doing whatever horrific shit it wants to do.
Thankfully, there are still principled, moral actors who can stand to be around these ghouls and occasionally they’re able to do some good. And on Monday, June 10, 2024, some of those folks organized at the otherwise gladhandy and feckless 2024 Wisconsin Democratic Convention. Led by delegate and “Uninstructed” organizer Heba Mohammad, delegates resisted attempts to water down the language and do a whataboutism re: the deaths of 40,000 people. Specifically, party leadership tagged the resolution with a “do not adopt” instruction. Some warhawk Democrats attempted to amend the resolution to remove the word “genocide” entirely and to prioritize Israeli hostages over Palestinian victims. Thankfully, sense prevailed.
Calling for an immediate, permanent ceasefire in Gaza isn’t radical or unpopular: there’s strong evidence that over ⅔ of Wisconsin Democrats support it. But as Milwaukee Beagle will explore in the near future, pro-Israel and anti-Palestinian forces have a lot of clout in the Wisconsin Democratic Party, while those showing solidarity with Palestine are openly despised and undermined. Kudos to Mohammad and her comrades for this big win.
Democrats Don’t Invite Fascists to Visit
Mayor Cavalier Johnson invited MAGA to party with The Bronze Fonz. Being Milwaukee’s mayor seems like a somewhat difficult job: you have to give speeches, sit through a lot of boring meetings, all while wearing a suit and never farting too loudly on camera. Sometimes you even get hit with a pipe!
One thing you should not do, as the mayor of a liberal, majority not-white city: invite thousands of preening fascists to hang out downtown for several days, while convening to celebrate the re-coronation of Donald Trump. You simply should not do that, ever.
Unfortunately, Governor Evers’ spirit of bipartisanship –meaning, in practice, regularly caving to the Wisconsin Republican Party and calling it a win– has seemingly taken our recently reelected mayor, Cavalier Johnson. Consequently, we’re scheduled to host the 2024 Republican National Convention, whether we want to or not.
There are a number of things that are bad about this:
1) We’re giving Republicans a massive publicity boost in one of the most important swing states in what’s likely to be a brutal, close election. In contrast, the Democrats are holding their convention in… Illinois, a state that hasn’t given its electors to a Republican candidate for President since 1988.
2) There is little to no evidence that big political events/conventions “create jobs” or “boost the economy,” except marginally. (More on this from Milwaukee Beagle soon!) They’re expensive to host, scare off normal people from doing the fun things they normally do, and almost always “require” a massive, outside police presence to make the attendees feel safe. They may be good for Mayor Johnson because he gets to look like he’s accomplished something and to network with potential future colleagues like House Speaker Mike Johnson and the My Pillow guy.
3) Just… why the fuck would you want to be around these people, voluntarily? Like… Jesus Christ, Mr. Mayor, these are the same creeps who stormed the Capitol (and made that sound uncool, somehow), tried to do fun legal tricks to overturn the 2020 election, and have immiserated and punished Milwaukee over and over, unapologetically, every chance they get. Clearly you must see some good in them – are you a secret Kid Rock fan or something? Or maybe more of a Monster Truck guy? Well, we *are* telling you how to live and – not like this, Mr. Mayor. Not like this.
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[1] We invite you to read the United Nations’ definition of genocide and decide for yourself which part of it best applies to Israel’s decades-long campaign of apartheid, cruelty and suffering in Gaza and the West Bank, or to the more recent, escalated destruction of Gaza. We will not be debating whether Israel’s actions meet that standard as a matter of law, because we’re moral actors and not overly online pedantic losers. If you’re still sweatily finding a way to exculpate Israel and Netanyahu at this point, eat shit, weirdo.
[2] On April 18, 2024, personal injury attorney and Wisconsin Elections Commission chair Ann Jacobs hosted a fundraiser for Jarrod Anderson, challenger to Wisconsin Assembly District 19’s Representative Ryan Clancy. Jacobs has repeatedly attacked Clancy on Facebook beginning on October 9, 2024, when Jacobs claimed Clancy “wants more dead Jews” and “needs to own [his] hatred of the people of Israel.” Jacobs later scolded Clancy for voting against legislation designed to harm trans people, but not for a resolution that symbolically “condemns Hamas.” We leave it to the reader to decide if this is appropriate behavior for the chair of the Wisconsin Elections Commission. You may find compiled evidence of the above here.
